Restaurants with Kids

In 1998 Jonathan and I traveled to Spain. On our last night in Madrid we went tapas bar hopping. In the first bar we saw a family with about ten people including grandparents, aunts and uncles and two little children. It wasn't the only family dining out that we saw that night, but that image was indelibly etched in my memory. At that point I thought how nice it would someday be to brave restaurants with our little ones, and travel the world.

Every couple of months I see an article titled "Restaurants with Kids." I read it with the hope that it will be a silver bullet, and aha I will finally have the secret to successful dining with a three-year old and a four-year old.

The articles generally cover three main areas, type of restaurants that are appropriate for preschoolers, time of day that you should take your preschooler, and finally activities to keep your preschooler engaged during the dining experience. They generally skip the essentials discipline and consistency.

Discipline for us is a two part strategy. First we role play at home. Every dinner is an attempt, with varying degrees of success, to teach good table manners. Of course these are table manners for a preschooler, no screaming, throwing food, fighting with your brother, whining ... not how to hold silverware.

Second we create a plan with the boys, and set consequences prior to entering a restaurant. "Tonight we are going to a restaurant This is a very special place. The wait staff will be carrying hot food, and it is very dangerous for you to be under toe. Our expectation is that you sit in your seat, and we eat dinner as a family. If you get out of your seat then dinner is over and mommy will sit with you in the car."

The proof is in the pudding with this method. We are currently helping our three-year old to become more restaurant ready. On our late Summer trip to Santa Barbara I spent a lot of time in the car with him waiting for my husband and four-year old to finish their meals. It worked though, he now knows that I mean business. But three-year olds are limit pushers by nature, so I don't think we'll be there overnight.

During the visit with our in laws we went to two cafes for breakfast and a restaurant with the boys. Other than an incident at the cafe where Caleb headed outside the cafe on his own to go to his favorite boutique (they have a kids table and chalk to write on the floor) our dining experiences were without incident.

We want to continue to travel with our kids. Restaurant dining is an essential, and hopefully if we stay consistent our little guys will be world-class diners.