Another Airline Travel Rant: Jet Blue Breaking up the Family

When I travel on airlines, I take comfort in process and procedures. I wait until there is no line to use the lavatory and even buckle my seat belt as soon as I sit down and for the entirety of the flight. Convoluted or practical I obey the rules, and assume whoever came up with them had my best interest at heart.

When bad things happen in airline travel, unexpected delays, mechanical problems or computer screw-ups, that is an airline's opportunity to shine. And I've had great experiences with well trained ticket agents, gate personnel and flight attendants -- who handle the unexpected with verve and grace.

That is why I'm so disappointed with our experience on Jet Blue. In today's economy, with all of the belt tightening that airlines are instituting you would think that one place they wouldn't chince would be training. But apparently no one in the Jet Blue organization on our Friday red-eye flight to Fort Lauderdale had anticipated or been trained on the proper procedure to handle the computer glitch that left six families scattered to the far corners of the aircraft.

Among that group, we were the ones traveling with the youngest children. A four year old and a five year old. Most airlines, including Jet Blue do not allow children under five to travel unaccompanied. 

We booked our tickets on Travelocity and we couldn't secure seats ahead of time for our flight. The ticket agent, who is also the gate agent didn't know that any of us were traveling with children (even though I had printed confirmation that we had entered our childrens' ages). He accused us all of not disclosing the information therefore the whole snafu was our fault. You know, "the customer is always wrong" mentality!

• At check-in the agent told us he would resolve it at the gate. 
• At the gate he told us he couldn't make changes and we would need to sort it out on the plane.
• On the plane the flight attendant said she wouldn't help us, and that it was the gate attendants responsibility ... oh and she has 148 passengers to worry about and couldn't use any of her precious time to help the six families out who were worried about their children sitting alone on a red-eye.

We did manage to luck out and meet someone at the gate who was trying to swap out a middle seat and the seat happened to be in one of our four rows. This made it possible for me to sit with our four year old.

But then the drama started. Jonathan waited with Xander at one of our rows for the other passengers to arrive. The passenger in the coveted middle seat wouldn't switch for anything other than an aisle seat. The flight attendant (who couldn't be bothered) said that someone was coming on board that could solve the problem. My five year-old was in tears.

The very same check-in/gate agent came in and berated my husband saying that he had told us there was nothing that could be done (which wasn't even true). My husband left for his other seat and a passenger who had overheard the conversation gave up her middle seat in that row so that Xander could sit with my husband...

None of this should ever have happened. The gate agent should have made an announcement (I've been called up to help a parent sit with a small child and I've exchanged my seat) before we ever boarded the plane. If a child is too young to fly unaccompanied, then they are too young to sit alone ... that should have been a consideration with my youngest. And if they truly couldn't do anything they should have been straightforward with us from the beginning instead of pacifying us by telling us that it would all be sorted out at the next part of the process.

Should We Travel with a Sick Kid?

Pneumonia. That was the diagnosis for my youngest Caleb on Wednesday night at pediatric urgent care. He'd been spiking a fever all day, and we finally brought him in when Childrens Advil was only making dents. He also had a hacking cough and his breathing was belabored. He was treated at the clinic with a nebulizer (twice -- to get his oxygen level to within normal range), had a chest x-ray and was tested for the flu (which came back negative).

Not really my first consideration, but we are scheduled to fly to Florida on the red-eye today (Friday).  So, I asked our pediatrician. Should we travel with a sick kid? The answer was pretty simple ... twenty-four hours fever free is generally the guideline, and it is up to us. Parents have traveled with a sick child before ...

Since 3 pm yesterday his temperature has stayed below 100 degrees, so I'm hopeful. He will have his third dose of antibiotics this evening, he is using his inhaler every four hours (his cough is non-existent on the medication and his breathing is normal) and we will monitor his temperature ... but barring an episode like Tuesday ... we may just get on the plane. It is tough call though.

Update: It is less than five hours until our flight, and Caleb hasn't had a fever today, and hasn't been taking any Childrens Advil. He is back to normal! So we are ready to go!

Pack Attack

Presidents Day week is ski week at San Jose Unified and what is becoming our annual tradition is visiting the Florida grandparents.

In booking our plane travel we continued our love/hate relationship with red-eyes. In many ways the long red-eye is perfect with small children, but the flight to Fort Lauderdale, Fla. is a short red-eye. Which means we leave at 10:30 pm (well after bedtime) and arrive at 6:30 am EST. If we can pull off the hat trick, and get the boys to go to sleep upon arrival it would be less of a nightmare ... but this is my pessimistic prediction:

• Board the plane at 10:30 pm. The boys finally settle down and sleep at 11:30 pm.
• Arrive at 3:30 am PST and escort our tired and cranky boys through the airport
• Get to grandparents condo around 4:30 am PST - boys are bright-eyed and bushy tailed and want to play and hang out with their grandparents.
• One of the boys enters full melt down around 5 pm EST 
• The boys will be sound asleep by 6 pm EST. 

It should be a day of discomfort. But on the bright-side, the next day they will be ready for any adventure.

Last year we had cooler weather in Florida, this year temperatures are expected to be in the high 70s low 80s. Since we work full time, and the weather here next week will be rainy and cool, I'm able to pack for the trip this weekend -- which is great. I've already completed packing the boys bag, and set aside their travel outfits. I'm trying to keep it to only one checked bag (to avoid the bag tax).

Now I have to hunt for sunscreen, sunglasses and goggles and other summer sundries that have been scattered to the four corners of the house, as well as pick some small toys I know the boys will love to play with in Florida.

The boys had tons of fun on the trip last year, and they are both excited about traveling. Xander who is now swimming and loves water can't wait to enjoy the beach and pool. Caleb my fair skinned little boy is looking forward to playing in the sand (and being out of the sun). We may even surprise them with a trip Disney World. Hopefully I can finish my pack attack today.

Parenting the Spirited Traveler

A while ago I had a conversation with one of my friends. She was impressed with all of the travel that we do with our boys, but indicated that they were several years away from family travel because her kids weren't "mature enough."

Jonathan and I have used this phrase often when figuring out where and at what point we would like to take our boys to a particular place. It would be a nightmare to take the boys on a trip where we eat in restaurants every night when they weren't "restaurant-ready", or on trip with lots of hiking when they are still at the "carry me" age.  And from the toddler years onward we've tried to make choices that are age appropriate. Our choices are getting broader as the boys both enter the school age years.

One of our biggest challenges is that our four year old Caleb is, to put it in nice terms, a spirited child.  Mary Sheedy Kurcinka describes a spirited child as "a normal child who is more. They are more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, energetic." My little Caleb is all these things... and more!

When traveling with Caleb we have to consider that he doesn't like to transition. On a daily basis, he doesn't like waking up in the morning, going to bed at night, or settling down for nap time at school. When he is doing something he is interested in, he just doesn't want to stop ...  

Apply this to travel, and it can be quite difficult. He could take hours to walk through a exhibit that my oldest rushes through in five minutes. If you rush him he'll throw a fit. This is a problem if you have a jam packed itinerary -- which I would never recommend if you have a spirited child like Caleb. 

So, here is how we handle our spirited little boy: 

1. We take the advice from the experts and create a hub -- a location that we return to every night. Sometimes if we are staying in multiple locations, we do this by co-sleeping with the kids. This reinforces safety and home, even in an unfamiliar place.
2. We keep the itinerary simple, and prepare to split up. At Legoland, Caleb loved Miniland (the area where full cities were replicated). He could and did spend hours there. One adult took Xander to all the places he wanted to see, and the other adult enjoyed the details (smelled the Lego roses) in Miniland.
3. We always communicate the plan well in advance, and just don't leave a location suddenly. I've written about story of tomorrow. We also give five minute warnings ... counting down until it is time to leave.
4. We incorporate the boys into the planning process. We give him options and let him have a vote on what we do.
5. We avoid the overly tired. Caleb is more on edge when he is tired. Travel should be about relaxation and exploration ... so we need to make sure that he is getting enough sleep, and if he is tired that is not the day to go to a crowded place... maybe it is a better day for a hike, a trip to the park or a picnic on the beach. 
6. Schedule in nature and unstructured time. This is the time that Caleb can let his hair down and be a boy, without an adult telling him that he is too loud, or there is no running allowed, or any other rules that come into place based on a travel situation.
7. We are flexible and are willing to follow through with a punishment (which could mean leaving a location early). 
8. We set Caleb up for success. We look at things like restaurants, the same way we view skills like swimming. You don't throw your child into the deep end and see if they can swim. We practice our restaurant etiquette on a daily basis, and use restaurants as a reward. Both the boys now love going to restaurants. 
9. We pack things to do during travel time. Like on airplanes, buses, trains and car trips. 
10. And, if all else fails, we prepare for full meltdown. Caleb can we quite dramatic when things aren't going his way.  Sometimes it can escalate into a temper tantrum, and we manage it the way we manage normal temper tantrums with a change of venue, by staying calm, not doling out punishments during the temper tantrum, giving him an opportunity to save face ... and once he calms down we make a new plan.

Traveling with Caleb can be a joy. He often reminds us why we love to travel. He jumps in with both feet, and helps us slow down and take in all that a location has to offer.