Rise of the Soccer Mom: The Agony and Ecstasy of Under Six Soccer

This Sunday afternoon we trudged through mud and rain to the final day of our soccer tournament. My boys were cold and wet and cranky. We were heading into battle for what could have been the final game of the season. It was the second day of the soccer tournament. The winner of our game would go to the finals.

When did I become a soccer mom?

I think it was when our under six year old (U6) team, the Pumas, started winning. We ended the season with 7 wins, 3 losses and 0 ties and qualified for the top tournament division with six other teams. The first two losses early in the season, I barely noticed. And then we had a heart breaking loss in the second half to the Super Soccers, and suddenly everything changed. I really cared, and I wanted our team to win!

To put under age six sports in context, T-Ball games always end with the same score, 27 to 27. Every player gets a chance to bat three times and run the bases. Everybody wins. It isn't until kids are entering second grade when there are winners and losers. In U6 soccer there are winners and losers, but every team makes the tournament in carefully calculated divisions with similar teams -- so every team gets an opportunity to win first or second. And every kid gets a trophy.

In U6 soccer most games look like a scrum, all the kids run in a group to the ball. As the season progresses the teams start to play positions (so you have four forwards, a goalie and two defensemen). At the beginning of the season, in August, my expectations were low. I just wanted the boys to experience playing on a team and have fun.

This was Xander's (6) second year of soccer. Due to some minor gross motor skills issues, he doesn't run very well. So we asked the league if they would make a special accommodation and let him play U6, even though he missed the cut-off by a month. I was worried about putting him on a team with seven and eight year olds -- especially if the team was competitive. I also logistically wanted my boys on the same team. The league made the exception.

Caleb (5) on the other hand is super athletic, and has been begging to play soccer since last year's season. Jonathan volunteered to be an assistant coach, and our neighbor is our U6 head coach. It was all coming together.

The first few weeks were rocky. Xander had "changed his mind" and he did not want to play soccer anymore. I felt like a terrible parent forcing my non-athletic child to play a sport that he had no aptitude for and clearly hated. He was acting out on the field and with the other kids, it was a nightmare. However, I stayed strong and stuck with my guns. I was raised to value hard work and commitment. Once you say yes to something you always follow through even if it is difficult or not fun. I not only wanted Xander to finish the 10 week regular season, but with a great "do your best" attitude. Quitting for me is a big deal, not trying is a bigger deal. Three months later and we don't have to reinforce attitude with Xander, his soccer skills have improved and he actually enjoys playing. But ask him, and he will not be playing soccer next year. And that is fine.

Now it is tournament time.  Our team has really come together. The kids at different skill levels genuinely like each other. The fact that we are finishing the season in the top group is proof positive that team work wins games, and our kids have learned team work.

But my burgeoning soccer mom is a bit annoyed that the U6 tournament field is significantly smaller, and our kids have to adjust to the downsized local -- lot's of balls out of bounds. Due to this we tied our first game against the Hurricanes, a team we had beaten a few weeks earlier. On the bright side they had tied their first game against the Super Soccers -- that very team that transformed me into a rabid soccer mom.

When we took the field against the Super Soccers, I was very anxious. The Super Soccers scored the first goal, and my heart dropped. But then we scored two more goals and time ran out. We were victorious!

However, the rainy weather on Sunday postponed the finals until December 3rd. So I will not hang up my soccer mom sneakers for a few weeks. Meanwhile this Thanksgiving we won't be watching football, we'll be watching futball! And I think the boys could do with a bit more practice ... Just kidding.

As much fun as it is to be a soccer mom, we won't be buying a mini-van anytime soon. My little Caleb won't be playing soccer next year. Soccer is his third favorite sport, behind hockey and baseball. Next year he'll be playing mini-mites hockey... and the hockey mom will rise!