Friday, June 29, 2012

Disappointed Seven Year Old

On arriving at Splash Camp on Monday, Xander, my oldest, found out that he was being moved from the intermediate swim class to the beginner class. To add insult to injury, Caleb, my youngest, was advanced from beginner to intermediate.

While I can't shield my boys from disappointment and set backs -- nor should I -- it was a major bummer, which put a damper on the week. Xander was in full analysis mode trying to explain what happened, "maybe it was my backstroke," and "I don't tread water as well as I should." Caleb wasn't helping, "backstrokes and treading water are so easy."

Of course I spent the week fretting a decision we've made. Xander may have very mild cerebral palsy (spastic diplegia) -- we don't know for sure. It sounds worse than it is. If he has it, it is very mild. So, mild when you first meet him you might not even notice. It affects his eyes (intermittent strabismus), his hands (poor fine motor skills) and his legs -- mostly his legs. He has a funny gait (he walks on his toes and his feet and knees turn in slightly). Because of this he has trouble running, balancing and descending stairs.

Last year we took him to see a pediatric neurologist, and she determined that he does have paralysis in his left leg, and stiffness in his right leg. She scheduled an MRI. While we made it to the appointment, we didn't go through with the MRI; Xander was too scared (a combination of the confined space and loud noises). The technician suggested that we ask his doctor to sedate him. After talking with his doctor we decided the risk of sedation outweighed the benefit -- a diagnosis.

If he has undiagnosed CP, as I said, it is really mild. But everyone who knows Xander sees that there are things he struggles with, we just don't have an official label yet. Of course, I head into a tailspin of self doubt when he gets perfect marks on his report card except for two Ns (needs improvement) in gross and fine motor skills. Or when I overhear a parent struggling to answer the question from Xander's friend like, "Why can't Xander run well?" I wonder what is said to Xander when I'm not around to hear.

In some ways a diagnosis would be a relief. Without a label people can be insensitive (misinterpreting his challenges as not trying) -- moving him to beginning swimmer for example. But in other ways a diagnosis scares the heck out of me.  With a label people could be overly sensitive... would they keep him in intermediate even though he is clearly falling behind because there would be different standards for Xander? Or would they suggest special accommodations, exclude him from a program because he has difficulty keeping up even though we know he can do the work?

Of course Xander is taking it all in stride. Just today he said that he likes being in beginner, that he needs to work on some skills, and if he works hard he'll pass the swimming test.

We spent the week learning about disappointment and how it is a part of life, and that we all have different gifts, interests and personal challenges. Xander is learning to play piano, likes Cub Scouts, Karate, games, reading, math and science, is on the Honor Roll and still loves swimming.  Caleb may be a gifted athlete, may pick-up things quicker and may always be better at sports than Xander. Xander shouldn't compare himself to Caleb. I think Xander gets that. But disappointment still stings.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Chef Xander's Cooking Birthday Party

A few years ago Cucina Bambini opened up near our house in Willow Glen.  It is a hands-on cooking school for kids. We'd driven by, and we've always been curious. And to our pleasant surprise it also does birthday parties. Picture 14 kids making their own pizzas, and decorating their cupcakes in a kitchen that you don't have to clean-up afterward... Awesome.

Now, last year's Aloha Scooby Doo Mystery Birthday Party was fantastic. It also set the bar for kid's birthday parties in our neighborhood, and  caused a sizable decrease in the number of home-hosted birthday parties this year. It was fun, but it was also a lot of work. Who can keep up?  Certainly not us. And truthfully, this year we wanted the party to be easier, shorter and elsewhere.

Cue Cucina Bambini - two hours of educational cooking fun. It was also a perfect party for Xander who loves crafts and creative endeavors. He is my shadow every Sunday, helping to cook our weekly pancake (or waffle) brunch.

In preparation for the cooking party the boys and I made chef's hats (purchased a box of paper Chef's hats) for all of the kids attending. I created a "pizza restaurant" like typeface in PowerPoint, printed out each child's name in the typeface, and bought 8,000 stars to decorate the hats. You'd think that I would still have a lot of stars leftover, but our neighbor (who also attended the party) helped decorate and he created an elaborate red piranha with stars on his hat... but that is another story. I was also able to buy The Everything Kids Cookbook on Amazon as party favors for under $5, and because of a special that week it was buy three get the fourth one free.

So, I was set-up on the party favor front and Cucina Bambini handled the rest. Our party started at 11 am. The kids washed their hands and put on aprons before they started to make dough from scratch. They got to measure the flour, water, oil, salt ... They made the sauce from scratch and Xander even got to operate the pan and spatula and cook the sauce. Then the kids rolled the dough, and put toppings on their pizza.

While the pizzas cooked in the oven, the kids decorated their cupcakes with frosting and candy. By the time they were finished decorating the pizzas were ready. I was amazed at how well behaved fourteen kids at a long restaurant table were ... but when they are invested in the meal, they are less likely to whine and climb under the table.

Then we sang the birthday song, and they got to eat their cupcakes. Xander loved it, and I think most of the kids did too. Now, what should we do for Caleb's sixth birthday? I'm thinking a Sharks Super Soaker party at home ...

Monday, June 18, 2012

Roadtrip: Through the Redwoods

Jonathan and I love a good roadtrip. We like exploring the sites along the main road, or turning off, and seeing what we can find. Sometimes it doesn't work out, you find yourself surrounded by strip malls and track homes. Other times you can uncover hidden gems like magnificent hikes and cute little hamlets.

Route 128 heading in and out of Mendocino is an excellent roadtripping road. The Navarro River Redwoods State Park runs along the route, offering magical clover filled paths to explore and giant Redwoods. Perfect for two little boys who started in with "are we there yet?" and "how many more hours" just a few minutes into our four hour drive.

The eleven mile stretch of park is right off the road, perfect for a quick detour, and there are plenty of places to pull over -- you really can't go wrong. We spent a half an hour, stretching our legs, climbing a redwood log and exploring the trails lined with clover. 

We missed it on the way in due to torrential rains, but on the way it out it was a pleasant way to break up our trip.


Sunday, June 3, 2012

Tide Pool Exploring with the Boys

One of the best parts of living in Northern California is the vicinity to the ocean and aquatic life. One of my favorite things to do, is to visit tide pools ... what we affectionately call tide pooling.

Tide pools are areas of rocks by the ocean filled with seawater. They are visible at low tide, and home to starfish, crabs, sea anemones and other bottom living sea life.

During our visit to Mendocino, we took the boys tide pool exploring. After breakfast on our second day we headed to MacKerricher State Park with the purpose of visiting the tide pools. However, the tide pools were closed as MacKerricher is also a habitat for baby seals. Two had been born recently, and an additional forty were expected soon.

We hiked along the coastal park hoping to spot a baby seal, but alas had no luck. It is a beautiful park with breathtaking scenery, which we enjoyed visiting ... so we weren't that disappointed. Still by this point we really did want to find some tide pools.

Next stop was Glass Beach which also happens to be part of MacKerricher State Park (just separately accessible). The beach is made up of small pieces of glass, smoothed and washed ashore. It also has some splendid tied pools.

There the boys scurried among the rocks to see what animal life they could find. Mainly small fish, sea anemones and small crabs. It was great fun, and a wonderful way to spend a morning.